Oh my gosh I love my new intro! I hope it feels like you have “found” your place too, my friend.
This week’s episode of the newly rebranded pod features my exceptional new friend, Ingela Onstad. Ingela is a high performance coach who helps professionals work through mindset issues to show up as their best selves in the public eye.
She has great insights for us to reflect on how our mindset supports our success.
- Ingela is an accomplished opera singer and has travelled the world performing.
- A divorce led her to ask the big questions about life. She had always been “that friend” who was everyone’s volunteer therapist, so she pursued it professionally. She earned her Masters in counseling and became a therapist.
- Ingela practiced traditional talk therapy but followed her gut to adapt her practice. Because of her active freelance career, she worked with many high performers. She transitioned into more of a future-focused coaching role.
- Ingela spends a lot of time getting to know someone and understand the greater landscape of their life. She helps her clients accomplish goals and look forward to future achievements.
- Therapy and coaching helps people understand that they are normal and not weird for feeling how they do.
- Ingela helps her clients manage anxiety by recognizing negative self talk patterns. She’s not a fan of positive affirmations but helps her clients through journaling, routines, rituals, and accepting that it’s ok to feel uncomfortable.
- “Emotions are like the rainbow, we can’t wish away the colors. They’re all going to be there in some way.”
- Ingela references Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and the human need for love and belonging. Fear of rejection is baked into our biology.
- We are probably familiar with fear of rejection, but many people, especially women, fear success as well. “We get caught on the tightrope of I don’t want to fail, but I also am afraid of being too big and too bold and shining too brightly.”
- Women are socialized to make others feel comfortable before themselves. They might have societal concerns about success, like being the breadwinner in their heterosexual relationship.
- Books Ingela recommends: Top Five Regrets of the Dying by Bronnie Ware and Mindset by Carol Dweck
- Coaching is important because you can gather all of the tools and strategies in the world, but nothing will happen if you are terrified of the next step.