There’s a version of leadership that looks really good on paper.

Driven.
Efficient.
Capable.
Gets things done.

I know that version well because I lived in it.

And for a long time, I thought that was what made me a good leader.

Until it didn’t.

---

The Moment I Realized Something Was Off

In 2023, I stepped into a new role with The Restoration Project.

I was excited.
Grateful.
Motivated.

And if I’m being honest… a little bit in my head about it.

Am I good enough for this?
Can I prove that I belong here?

So I did what I knew how to do.

I got to work.

Fast.

Focused.

Independently.

I built out plans.
Mapped the course.
Moved the project forward.

From the outside, it probably looked like momentum.

But underneath?

I was operating from urgency.
From pressure.
From something I didn’t fully understand yet.

---

The Truth I Had to Face

What I thought was leadership was actually overperformance.

What I thought was efficiency was actually disconnection.

I wasn’t bringing people along.
I wasn’t communicating clearly.
I wasn’t creating space for collaboration.

And the hardest part?

I didn’t even realize I was doing it.

---

Leadership Starts Earlier Than You Think

We often think leadership starts when we step into a role.
Or when we manage people.
Or when we’re responsible for outcomes.

But what I learned the hard way is this:

Leadership starts with how you relate to yourself.

Your patterns.
Your defaults.
Your reactions.
Your energy.

Because whether you realize it or not that’s what you’re bringing into every room.

---

The Restoration Process (That Changed Everything)

This is where the Restoration Process came into focus for me.

Not as a framework I was teaching through our work at TRP, but as something I had to actually live.

1. Rebuild Connection

I had to slow down enough to ask:

What’s actually going on with me?

Not the to-do list.
Not the deadlines.
Not the deliverables.

Me.

I started tracking my energy.
Noticing patterns.
Paying attention to what filled me up… and what drained me.

And for the first time in a long time,
I stopped pushing past what I felt —
and started listening to it.

---

2. Restore Intention

Once I understood what was driving me, I could ask a better question:

What actually matters here?

Not:

• What can I get done fastest?
• What proves I’m capable?
• What checks the boxes?

But:

• What’s aligned?
• What’s needed?
• What’s most true?

This is where leadership shifts.

Because intention slows you down just enough to choose differently.

---

3. Inspire Action

And then comes the part we all want to skip to:

Doing.

But not reactive doing.
Not urgency-driven doing.

Aligned action that says:

• I’m going to communicate clearly
• I’m going to bring people in
• I’m going to create space for better outcomes

Even if it takes longer.
Even if it feels unfamiliar.

---

The Turning Point

There was a moment in this project where a teammate raised a simple question:

“Do we need to move this fast?”

And I could feel it in my body.

Tension.
Resistance.
That voice that said: We can’t slow down.

But instead of reacting, I paused.

And that pause changed everything.

Because what followed was:

• Better collaboration
• Better feedback
• A stronger final product

Not because we did more.

But because we led better.

---

What This Means for You

If you’re in a season where:

• You feel stretched thin
• You’re doing all the things
• You’re questioning whether it’s enough

I want you to hear this:

You don’t need to do more to become a better leader.

You need to understand yourself more.

Because the way you lead others will always be a reflection of how you lead yourself.

---

A Simple Place to Start

Ask yourself:

• Where am I operating on autopilot?
• What am I trying to prove right now?
• What would change if I slowed down… even slightly?

You don’t need a full overhaul.

Just awareness.

Because that’s where restoration begins.

---

Leadership isn’t about having it all figured out.

It’s about being willing to come back to yourself — again and again and again.

Rebuild connection.
Restore intention.
Inspire action.

Not once.
But as a practice.

Because you, listener, are the greatest project you’ll ever work on.

Listen to me tell the full story in Episode 246 of The Found Podcast with Molly Knuth, now streaming wherever you get your podcasts!